Posts Tagged ‘the power of words’

Daniel Boone was asked by a reporter if he had ever been lost in the wilderness.  

Boone thought for a moment and replied, “No, but I was once bewildered for about three days.”

It’s the New Year and a lot of us have set New Years resolutions. Many of us have chosen the classic ones that we’re told we should want – to lose weight, to exercise more, to complete a degree or get a better job.

And many of those resolutions will fall away before the month of January is over.

How come? One possible reason is not knowing where we want to go in life. Not knowing where we want to be by the end of the year.

Being “bewildered”….

And chosing “default” goals that don’t really have anything to do with who we are or what our path is in life….

You may already have goals.

They may have perfectly good goals….

But, it still might be a good idea to see if you’re planning to move forwards on your own personal journey…

Take a moment…

Close your eyes and take a deep breath…

And visualize for a moment who you’d like to be at the end of the year….


Then open your eyes and write down what popped up.

Do any of your goals send you in that direction?

Then you may need more or different goals.

Chose the goals that speak to your life mission

And work your dreams….

Want more information on this? Try here






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We’ve  talked about how our beliefs, conscious and unconscious, shape our world and manifest experiences that support those beliefs.

We’ve talked about ways to change those beliefs, such as affirmations, setting an intention, and telling ourselves better stories through positive self talk.

Let’s take a deeper look at self talk.

Some self talk comes from other folks, like our family and friends. Even if they care for us, they may see us in ways that limit us or undermine our best lives.  (For instance “Your brother’s the smart one.”)

Some self talk comes from ourselves –  from lessons we have chosen to learn from our experiences. These lessons may be one way of finding meaning in those experiences, but not be the interpretation that supports us in having our most happy, prosperous lives. There may be better lessons to take away from these experiences than the beliefs we absorbed. (For instance, after the end of a bad romance, do we believe “All men are jerks.” or ” I need to chose a relationship with someone who treats me with respect.” ?)

Either way, we internalize these beliefs and they create our self talk –  the stories that we tell ourselves. As we pass through life, our beliefs create on-going self talk, that runs constantly like the theme music of our lives. The beliefs and self-talk manifest experiences that support those beliefs. The beliefs/self-talk  also shape our attention to focus on things that support those beliefs.

Which strengthen those beliefs.

Which manifest more evidence.

It’s a constant, self-feeding spiral, whether for good or ill …

Fortunately, that can work for us as well as against us.

Our beliefs can shape our self-talk. Our self-talk can also shape our beliefs.

Start listening to the things you tell yourself about yourself and the world around you.

Then think about whether there’s a better  story you could tell yourself.

You don’t have to constantly monitor yourself or make a total change to your self-talk all at once.

Even a small change can make a major difference.

And I’ll be giving you examples in the next post on the Power of Words

See you then






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We’ve talked about beliefs and how they shape the world around us and the way we interact with that world.

We’ve talked about using words in affirmations to transform those beliefs and therefore what we create for ourselves.

We’ve talked about resistance, and how using the power of intention can avoid resistence sabotaging us.

Now, let’s talk about another way to  use the power of words to make our worlds better….

The choice to tell ourselves Better Stories….

Back on 6/15/10 ,  I touched on this in “The Power of Words-Caught In Your Own Trap”, but it’s a really powerful technique, so I’d really like to go into it a bit more.

We all have beliefs about ourselves  – that we are smart, or cute , or clumsy. Some of these beliefs are taught to us by others and some are things we teach ourselves, usually in response to our experience.

Are these beliefs true?

Well, yes , they are – and no, they’re not.

If you’re raised to think of yourself as the “pretty one” in your family, as opposed to the “smart one”, you’ll approach the world as the “pretty one” and the nature of reality will tend to adjust itself to that belief.

Ever hear “the rich get richer and the poor get poorer”? This is one reason why that can happen.

Furthermore, we reinforce this shaping of reality by the stories  we tell ourselves.

We all go around with an inner monologue that says “I’m so clumsy”, “I’m the smart one, not the pretty one.” or “I’m  shy”. This is called “self-talk”; and the stories we tell ourselves, whether in our heads or out  loud keep us locked into the realities that we believe and manifest the proof to support those beliefs.

For instance, go on a shopping spree, then grin and tell your friends “I can never hold onto my money.”

Now the truth is that anyone can save or spend. Neither choice is impossible. But tell yourself that you can’t enough and that’s who you’ll believe yourself to be. Not only will you constantly spend what ever you make (beliefs acting psychologically) but you’ll find financial emergencies like car repairs popping up whenever you manage to put some money by (beliefs acting metaphysically).

This can mess with your life.

That’s the bad news. The good news is that beliefs can be changed.

You can choose to be the “smart one” as opposed to the “pretty one”. Better yet, you can choose to be the “smart one” and the “pretty one”….


And you can start by changing your self talk…

By telling yourself better stories…

More self-talk on the way….






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We’ve talked about affirmations and how we can use them to clear negative beliefs and replace them with more helpful ones –

But what if those negative beliefs fight back?

You’ve formed a great affirmation-“I always keep my cool.”…

You start to repeat it, to change your programming to something that’ll support a better life…

And, suddenly there’s a little voice in your head, arguing with you!

“I always keep my cool.”

“No you don’t!”

“I always keep my cool.”

“No, you always panic!”

“I always keep my cool.”

“Actually, just the thought of that speech you’ve got coming up makes you break out in a cold sweat…”

What is that ?

Well, that, my friend, is resistance. It’s the voice of a firmly entrenched dysfunctional belief fighting to stay put, rather than giving way to a belief that’ll actually make your life better.

The problem is that it has some truth on its side.

Remember how we talked about how we tend to manifest what we believe in? Well, dysfunctional beliefs are usually based on outdated knowledge, unhelpful things that we’ve learned from our experiences, or on things that other folks have taught us based on unhelpful things they’ve learned from their experiences.

As such, they’re not automatically true, but they have some truth in them because

  • what we look for, we’re gonna find;
  • what we focus on, we tend to attract; and
  • we not only attract more of what we focus on, but more of other things that make us feel that way.

Thus, if you believe the world is full of crazy drivers,

  • we’ll notice crazy drivers more;
  • we’ll attract more crazy drivers; and
  • we’ll attract other things that make us feel like this (perhaps tax audits)…

Well, that’s no fun.

And the truth in those dysfunctional beliefs can keep us stuck repeating them.

But the truth is also that there are other equally valid truths that can make our worlds better.

That if we shift from unhelpful belief to helpful one, once we get past the resistance, the Universe tends to shift to support the new belief.

That we can shape reality with new beliefs, whether better or worse.

And that it’s a better choice to choose better beliefs and a better reality to follow.

I like to remind myself that there’s some limited truth in the resistance, but that it’s only true until now….

Until I chose something better.

If you hang in there and keep repeating those affirmations, sooner or later the old belief gets fed up, pulls up stakes and moves on.

But there’s another way of doing affirmations that bypasses resistance

And that’s next on the agenda






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In my last post on the Power of Words, I talked about how words repeated create our beliefs, conscious and unconscious.

I talked about how those beliefs can work to sabotage us in the things we want to do, or support us in doing amazing things.

I talked about affirmations,and how we can use them to clear out the dreams that  destroy our dreams, and create new ones that let us fly.

I talked about the characteristics of an effective affirmation.

One of these was saying your affirmations with emotion.

And I’ve got a great example for you.

Hope you like this as much as I do

 Click here

Wouldn’t it be great to wake up this way everyday?






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So, words repeated create beliefs…

And beliefs combine into unconscious programs…

And our  unconscious mind believes those unconscious programs…

And the mind – body connections makes those programs into reality, whether the beliefs are

  • “I’m so clumsy”;
  • “Men are cruel”;
  • “I can’t hold a job”;

or any other belief, true or otherwise.

Because we believe them, psychologically we look for evidence to support that belief and create a downward spiral…

Because we believe them, energetically we tend to draw to us things that create that reality…

And our beliefs come true….

Yes, we are that powerful.

Fortunately, the way into trouble is also the way out.We can reprogram ourselves for beliefs that create and support more joyous things in our lives.


Have you heard of affirmations?

An affirmation is a positive statement that follows certain parameters. Just as repeating negative statements,such as “I’m so clumsy”or “No”, creates negative programming that sabotage our growth, joy and abundance, repeating affirmations creates new, positive programming and forces the old negative beliefs out.

Research indicates that it takes approximately 1000 repititions to replace a negative belief with a positive one. Seems like a lot until you look back at the “No”s said to the average toddler,  and realize that that’s the equivalent of 2 1/2 days’ worth….

And many people start to feel results with 200 repetitions or less.

So,what are the parameters for an affirmation?

  • It’s positive (so “I am graceful” as opposed to”I am not clumsy”;
  • It’s in the present tense (so “I am healthy” as opposed to “I will be healthy”;
  • It’s easy to say ( no tongue twisters);
  • It’s better if it’s shorter(so “I sleep well” as opposed to “I sleep deeply and completely without  tossing and turning”);
  • It’s more powerful if it’s said with emotion.

Those  are the basics.

Sounds simple, right? Too simple, maybe?

But the truth is they work.

Even if you don’t say them 1000 times. Even if you change them, affirmations have great power:

  • to change your beliefs;
  • to attract more positive things;
  • to change your mind-body connection to a more positive influence;
  • to improve your health, and mind-set, and ability to live your dreams;

More coming on affirmations and other powerful uses of words…






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We’ve talked about the unconscious mind. How outgrown, limiting, dysfunctional or destructive beliefs hanging out there can:

  •  limit our ability to grow and move forwards.
  • sabotage our dreams.
  • actually shape the nature of the world around us.

That’s important. So how do we get those messed up beliefs out of there?

Well, first, you’ve got to understand a little bit more about how they got in there in the first place…

Now some beliefs are generated in a moment of sweeping “enlightenment”-

Like “I will never be fabulously rich…”

Or “Life is hard…”

Or even ” Going out drinking with ducks inevitably leads to trouble…”

These beliefs may or may not be accurate, but they’ve hit us like a lightning bolt and are taken in without question.

However, most beliefs, functional or not, end up with a home in our psyche because of repetition.

A study at UCLA found that the average toddler hears the word “No” a minimum of  400 times per day….

That’s 400 times per day…

2800 times per week…

12,400 times per month…

1,460,000 times in a year…

Is it  any wonder that a two-year old’s favorite word is often “No” ?

Is it any wonder that most of us grow up and have more than a little “No” attitude to life in general?

No – I can’t follow my dreams. It’s not practical.

No -I can’t make a relationship work. I never have before.

No – I can’t be extraordinary. I’m not that special.

And the truth of the matter is that, if you believe things like that, that’s the kind of truth you’ll tend to manifest. Both because you’ll be seeking out the evidence and experiences  that support those dysfunctional beliefs; and because, energetically, you tend to attract what you’re focusing on….

In computer terms, GIGO…

Garbage In, Garbage Out.

But there is a way out of this.

Repetition got us into this.

And it can get us out of it.

And how to do that is on the way…






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I’ve been talking about beliefs. How words shape our beliefs. How our beliefs determine how we interact with the world.

This may have seemed very psychological. It  is – but there’s more  to it than that.

Because the beliefs we have energetically shape the world around us…

Per the Law of Attraction, what we focus on is what we tend to get more of. Like attracts  like.

For instance, if you’re spending a lot of time complaining about pushy cousin Betty:

  • you may find that Betty starts calling more frequently, and
  • you may find that you start having more encounters with folks who are just like Betty….

To use a technical term, ick……

So your beliefs, good or ill, don’t just affect how you see the world psychologically, and how you interact with it….

Your beliefs also tend to shape the world as you move through it.

Yes – you’re that powerful.

All the more reason to have your beliefs playing on your side, as opposed to against you.

And words are amongst the best tools we have for this.

There’s more words coming…






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Got to thinking about a conversation that I had awhiles back with someone who was in a world of hurt.

As she talked, she kept telling me  about how she couldn’t let go of the situation that was hurting her. How exhausted and drained she felt. How she felt alone and trapped and without hope.

She had certainly been through a lot of challenging experiences. She had a right to feel down and stressed…

I really felt bad for her and all of the things she was going through…

But I was also struck by how the words she was using made the trap she found herself in stronger.

If only she could have told herself a little better story…

Told herself that she had the strength to get through this…

That she hadn’t moved on yet, but that she certainly could…

That she’d take something worthwhile out of this part of her life (strength or wisdom or compassion) and let the rest go…

Then this trap could have been a transformation for her.

I’m sorry that she’s still hurting.

But I wish that she could find it in herself to tell the stories that would set her free as opposed to make a hard situation worse for her…

And it made me think…

What kind of stories am I telling myself?…………..






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In a previous post, I talked about the concept of telling yourself better stories. Let’s talk about that now.

In medical studies on stress, researchers originally thought that stress was a “stimulus – response” reaction.

You know. Your  partner tells you you’re moving to Timbuktu. You get stressed. That kind of thing…

However, on looking more closely, they found something very interesting.

Two people could have an identical experience.

One would be traumatized…

The other would be fine.

What’s up with that?

Researchers found that the amount of stress wasn’t actually due to what happened.

Instead, it was determined by the meaning a person attached to what happened….

To the stories they told themselves about the experience…

So, one person might view that move to Timbuktu as an exhausting, overwhelming foray into unknown territory..

And another might see it as a delightful adventure that will teach her exciting new things…

Which one do you think will be more stressed? Which one will benefit more from the experience?

And the difference in stress levels and health and the overall experience each of them will have is only the stories they tell themselves.

The power of words…

Interesting, that….






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