Posts Tagged ‘self talk’

Back in the end of January/ beginning of February, I talked a little bit about how our beliefs could shape the nature of reality around us (for your reference, see Building Beliefs  and Building Beliefs- the Tools You Need ) and why it’d be a good idea therefore to cultivate beliefs that create a reality you’d like as opposed to one like chalk  on a black board.

In Building Beliefs – the Tools You Need,  I listed six different techniques I like  for creating such positive beliefs, and clearing out the ones that aren’t so helpful.

  • Watching your self talk;
  • Chosing who you listen to, and how much;
  • Positive thinking;
  • Affirmations;
  • Guided meditations;
  • Hypnosis; and
  • E.F.T. (Emotional Freedom Technique).

In coming posts, I’m planning to take a look at these techniques in more detail, so that those of you who aren’t familiar with them can get  more of an idea of what they entail, so you can decide if my preferred techniques might be helpful to you.

And if you have any questions or comments along the way, I’d invite you to post them. If you’re wondering about something, someone else is probably wondering too.

See you soon






For more information on Catherine’s books, “Adventures in Palmistry” or “The Practical Empath – Surviving and Thriving as a Psychic Empath”, click here

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In my 1/24 post (“Building Beliefs”), I talked about beliefs, conscious and unconscious, and how those beliefs tend to shape the nature of reality around us.

They do this in a psychological way, by causing us to look for evidence that supports that belief, and therefore effects how we view and interact with the world. They also do this in a metaphysical way, by setting our energy fields to a vibration that attracts more of what we believe is so, and other things at the same vibration.

So, if you believe you’re born to win, you don’t necessarily win 100% of the time, but you do tend to win more than the average bear.

And if you believe that you’re a loser….


Let’s not go there.

Better to cultivate beliefs that support better things, people and experiences for you; ones that draw better things into your life.

But what about unconscious beliefs? How can you deal with beliefs you can’t even see that you have?

Well, there’s a few good techniques out there.

The six that I like best are

  • Watching your self talk;
  • Chosing who you listen to, and how much;
  • Positive thinking;
  • Affirmations;
  • Guided meditations;
  • Hypnosis; and
  • E.F.T. (Emotional Freedom Technique).

Any of these techniques can be used to clear out beliefs that sabotague you or do not serve you, and replace them with beliefs that serve you better. We’ll be looking at them in more detail in posts to come.

So, what beliefs would you like to change?…






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And there’s still more to be said about the nature of obstacles.

And one of the biggest challenges can be your own self-esteem, and whether you have it or not.

There are many people who have a good dream, have the right dream for themselves, have a plan and support, and still crash and burn because their lack of self-esteem will not permit them to succeed even at something worthy..

So there are blocks in the road, and “co-incidences”, and challenges, and doubts, all in the service of keeping them safe by keeping them from doing something the unconscious thinks they will “surely fail at”.

Why would such a daft thing happen?

The unconscious with problem self-esteem may fear that you will fail and  tries to prevent you from being hurt by the process of failure,

Or feels that you are unworthy of success so it creates situations to cause you to fail.

Well, that’s no fun….

How can you tell if self-esteem problems are getting in the way of your dreams?

Here’s a few indicators:

  • Do you have an ongoing pattern of calling yourself names (“Stupid me!”) or making denigrating statements about yourself (“I’m so clumsy…”) ?
  • Do you have negative self talk (“You’ll never win”, “These bad things always happen to me”, “All  of the good ones are taken.”) on a regular basis?
  • Do you feel untalented or unskilled?
  • Do you feel unworthy(of health, wealth, happiness, success, love, etc.)?
  • Does the idea of achieving something amazing make you feel sick or afraid, without even a touch of excitement?
  • Would you support your dream if your friend wanted to do it, but feel that it’s impossible for you?

Things like these can be the tell tales of anemic self-esteem, and can indicate that you need to step back and examine whether you are your own best friend and loudest cheer leader –

And see if you believe in your own ability to make a dream come true…

( By the by, it’s perfectly fine to look at your dream and get anxious whether you can accomplish something so much bigger than you ever have before. It takes most of us work to expand our belief of what we are capable of.

But if you’re scared silly without any excitement, if you’re constantly putting on the brakes or “forgetting” to work on your dreams, even though you feel that this dream is something that should happen, then you may need to do some work on your self-esteem

On feeling capable of success

On feeling worthy of success.)

More on the way






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So positive self talk or telling ourselves better stories can help us create a better world for ourselves and others. Can psychologically help us to focus on the positive things around us, which is physically and mentally healthier for us, and tends to inspire us towards moving in the direction of mother positive things. Can metaphysically attract and manifest more of the positive things we are focusing on and other things that are similarly positive, creating an upwards spiral of creation.

But the truth’s the truth, right? It’s absolute. Things are great or they’re crappy, but they are what they are. Telling yourself things are super when they’re lousy is just being in denial, right?

Well, yes… and no.

Many times, your experience is not so much about what’s going on than how you chose to experience it.

For instance, if you’re constantly telling yourself you’re tired, you’ll find you become chronically tired. If you’re repeatedly telling yourself how hard life is, you’ll find it gets harder and harder.

But the reverse is also true.

What if, instead of telling yourself what a horrible day you had, you told yourself that the bad stuff’s behind you now?

What if, instead of telling yourself that your co-workers were all jerks, you told yourself that they all had their own strengths and weaknesses?

What if, instead of telling yourself that you’re trapped in a dead-end situation, you told yourself that you were where you were until you found and chose to move to something better?

It doesn’t have to be a major shift in story….

Got a task that you’ve been saying was “too hard / impossible / overwhelming”? Try just telling yourself that it’s “challenging” instead.

See how it shifts both the nature of the task and your ability to complete  it?

(For bonus points, tell yourself that it’s “challenging, but nothing that you can’t handle”…  :-)….)

There are folks who claim that this is just a “Pollyanna” attitude – denial that keeps you from getting anywhere.

My observation is that the folks around me who chose to focus on negative things seem to attract more  of them – to the point of the statistically unlikely.

And the folks who tell themselves better stories start to attract the little miracles. And the bigger ones.

All I know is it works.

So I wish you better stories in your life.






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We’ve  talked about how our beliefs, conscious and unconscious, shape our world and manifest experiences that support those beliefs.

We’ve talked about ways to change those beliefs, such as affirmations, setting an intention, and telling ourselves better stories through positive self talk.

Let’s take a deeper look at self talk.

Some self talk comes from other folks, like our family and friends. Even if they care for us, they may see us in ways that limit us or undermine our best lives.  (For instance “Your brother’s the smart one.”)

Some self talk comes from ourselves –  from lessons we have chosen to learn from our experiences. These lessons may be one way of finding meaning in those experiences, but not be the interpretation that supports us in having our most happy, prosperous lives. There may be better lessons to take away from these experiences than the beliefs we absorbed. (For instance, after the end of a bad romance, do we believe “All men are jerks.” or ” I need to chose a relationship with someone who treats me with respect.” ?)

Either way, we internalize these beliefs and they create our self talk –  the stories that we tell ourselves. As we pass through life, our beliefs create on-going self talk, that runs constantly like the theme music of our lives. The beliefs and self-talk manifest experiences that support those beliefs. The beliefs/self-talk  also shape our attention to focus on things that support those beliefs.

Which strengthen those beliefs.

Which manifest more evidence.

It’s a constant, self-feeding spiral, whether for good or ill …

Fortunately, that can work for us as well as against us.

Our beliefs can shape our self-talk. Our self-talk can also shape our beliefs.

Start listening to the things you tell yourself about yourself and the world around you.

Then think about whether there’s a better  story you could tell yourself.

You don’t have to constantly monitor yourself or make a total change to your self-talk all at once.

Even a small change can make a major difference.

And I’ll be giving you examples in the next post on the Power of Words

See you then






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We’ve talked about beliefs and how they shape the world around us and the way we interact with that world.

We’ve talked about using words in affirmations to transform those beliefs and therefore what we create for ourselves.

We’ve talked about resistance, and how using the power of intention can avoid resistence sabotaging us.

Now, let’s talk about another way to  use the power of words to make our worlds better….

The choice to tell ourselves Better Stories….

Back on 6/15/10 ,  I touched on this in “The Power of Words-Caught In Your Own Trap”, but it’s a really powerful technique, so I’d really like to go into it a bit more.

We all have beliefs about ourselves  – that we are smart, or cute , or clumsy. Some of these beliefs are taught to us by others and some are things we teach ourselves, usually in response to our experience.

Are these beliefs true?

Well, yes , they are – and no, they’re not.

If you’re raised to think of yourself as the “pretty one” in your family, as opposed to the “smart one”, you’ll approach the world as the “pretty one” and the nature of reality will tend to adjust itself to that belief.

Ever hear “the rich get richer and the poor get poorer”? This is one reason why that can happen.

Furthermore, we reinforce this shaping of reality by the stories  we tell ourselves.

We all go around with an inner monologue that says “I’m so clumsy”, “I’m the smart one, not the pretty one.” or “I’m  shy”. This is called “self-talk”; and the stories we tell ourselves, whether in our heads or out  loud keep us locked into the realities that we believe and manifest the proof to support those beliefs.

For instance, go on a shopping spree, then grin and tell your friends “I can never hold onto my money.”

Now the truth is that anyone can save or spend. Neither choice is impossible. But tell yourself that you can’t enough and that’s who you’ll believe yourself to be. Not only will you constantly spend what ever you make (beliefs acting psychologically) but you’ll find financial emergencies like car repairs popping up whenever you manage to put some money by (beliefs acting metaphysically).

This can mess with your life.

That’s the bad news. The good news is that beliefs can be changed.

You can choose to be the “smart one” as opposed to the “pretty one”. Better yet, you can choose to be the “smart one” and the “pretty one”….


And you can start by changing your self talk…

By telling yourself better stories…

More self-talk on the way….






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